Lacey Terrell has been photographing the Culpepper & Merriweather Circus for over a decade, capturing life behind the scenes on the lot. Today, Terrell shares some of her work, discusses her journey into this career path and illuminates the culmination of her time with the C & M Circus, The Passing Ring:

In April of 1996, one of my best friends from childhood passed away in a rock climbing accident. At his memorial service, I saw my old boyfriend from college and his brother was the 24 Hour Man for the Culpepper & Merriweather show. I had always wanted to photograph a small circus but growing up outside of NYC, I was only familiar with the Ringling Brothers, so I asked my friend to have his brother call me if they came to California.

At the time I was in graduate school for my MFA in Photography, invested in a totally different, conceptual body of work dealing with Victorian history, identity and psychology.  Sure enough, several weeks later I got the call to come visit the show outside of Stockton, California.  I thought I would visit and meet people in hopes of maybe doing a project down the road but as soon as I saw the blue and white striped tent in the center of the circus village, and the wonderful show, I was smitten.  I felt like I had stepped back in time. Thankfully, I was welcomed because I was a friend of one of the gang.

The timing was significant; after having lost my dear friend, things were a bit dark but that weekend with the circus was the first time in awhile that I felt happy and inspired.  My friend’s philosophy had been if you did not take risks, you were not living and he really believed in going after your dreams. So at that time, it really hit home for me. I had to follow my gut… and sneak out the backdoor of the Victorian era and run away with the circus, so to speak. That summer, I met up with the Culpepper & Merriweather Circus twice in California, then for about 10 days in Montana and a week in Colorado. That was just the beginning of my project, The Passing Ring.

My visits have ranged from a few days to five weeks at a time, always depending on where they were, and how much time and money I had.  Typically I would drive my car and stay either in a tent on the lot (known to some as the Little Top) or in the car, and occasionally at a motel nearby. Many of the towns didn’t have motels, or at least motels that I felt safe in by myself, so I preferred to stay on the lot.

When I was on the road for five weeks, through Texas and the Southwest, I stayed in the home of one of the women on the show. I then would drive the then owner and founder of the Circus, Red Johnson’s, pick-up truck and trailer each day to the next town.  More recently, I have flown to locations and rented cars large enough to sleep in while on the road.  I still dream of getting myself a small trailer and traveling a full season – that would be ideal for finishing up the project… but I would need some serious funding!

Diane Arbus and Mary Ellen Mark have always been two of my influences as far as circus photography goes.  The fact that this subject has been depicted for centuries, by so many people, in all art forms, makes it a bit tricky to tackle.  Many of the photo books out there, while wonderfully crafted, have been less than inspiring to me. Often, they take the more standard approach of the day in the life, documentary type of story. While the day in the life on the circus is very interesting to me, it isn’t really what my project is about.

THE PASSING RING is an extensive portrait of one of the last nomadic tribes in America, the Culpepper & Merriweather Great Combined Circus. A traditional one-ring Big Top show, with winter quarters in Hugo, Oklahoma, C&M travels everyday, for eight months of the year. Over the past 14 years, I have photographed this show through much of California, Montana, Iowa, Colorado, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Minnesota, Arizona and Nebraska.  Fortunately, being trusted as part of the family, I have created a massive archive of this very vulnerable, slice of Americana. I have seen the Big Top both packed and almost empty, looking brand new and tattered and patched.

While seemingly familiar, the circus is an elusive character, rife with complexities and contradictions. My photographs fall into a few categories: portraits of the many unique individuals whose paths have converged under the Big Top; images that highlight impressionistic, archetypal elements of this age-old spectacle; mundane moments in daily life on the road; landscapes of and around the ever changing circus village.

It’s against the odds that the show will survive in this era of technology, and the crowds are growing smaller. Nonetheless, Culpepper & Merriweather persists, moving quietly though the countryside and tiny towns west of the Mississippi, arriving each day just after dawn. Twenty four hours later, the caravan pulls away leaving barely a trace, save some imprints on the ground and in the minds of those who came to see the show.

So what is my project really about? Good question. It’s about a lot of things. It’s about the circus as spectacle, a way of life and also as a microcosm. The project zooms in to the specific individuals that have converged under this Big Top while also zooming out to look at the participants from a more Archetypal perspective.  It touches on roaming the American landscape with both freedom and at times isolation.  I think about the notion of the circus’ place on the fringe of culture, while also being at its historical core.  The performers passing through ‘the backdoor’ in and out of the ring, taps into notions of performing identities and is one of my favorite elements.  I am always drawn to the backdoor – it’s the threshold from one world unto the next.  The circus is a world within a world, very multilayered.  It is magic – a vacant lot is transformed into a village and inside the Big Top, the performers and spectators are transformed, somehow changed, even in the tiniest of ways. It is difficult to touch on all the layers, but for me it is important to try – the circus embodies so much – it is timeless.

I am after a non-linear (at times abstract, poetic) story that creates an experience of the circus, and may go deeper, conceptually, than what we have seen thus far.  The fact that it has been almost 15 years since I began this journey lends to an in depth understanding of the circus, but it also has made the project more difficult to end.  I am so close to it and too many individuals now.  My photographic style and vision has changed over the years. The final challenge is sewing it all together. Trying to encapsulate the common thread that lingers amidst the ever-changing circus village and landscape, throughout the changing times, at the hand of a changing artist.  Ha!  It’s difficult to express all of this in single images, which is why the end product of a book has always been the plan.

I am working right now with a photography book editor friend who has been helping me hone in on my vision and make sense of this massive archive I have. Several of the members of the show, past and present, have offered to help with text and ideas, once I get closer.  BJ Hebert, one of the three founding members of C & M, is a wealth of information, memories, stories and is a supportive resource and collaborator!

As far as more circus photography in the future? I am not really interested in working with any other circus… Culpepper & Merriweather has become part of my life and extended family. It is a very special circus filled with a unique mix of people from a variety of backgrounds. Over the years, some have come and gone, some have stayed and others have come back. There is a spirit about this little show that keeps on keeping on, even in the face of vulnerability, hardships and patches on the tent.  I feel lucky to call the show and all the folks I have met under the Big Top friends.

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